Christmas eve

It's a time to be thankful for what we have and  having a great Husband, someone who loves you, and cares for you. I thank god that I have a nice home, a great man, 2 baby dogs, a great family! I also have a great dad who may not be on this earth but I know where he is, and he is working so hard for us, keeping us safe. I love him.

"2011"

I am on my 2nd cycle TTC, I think in the 1st one I O'd later than normal and so our timing was off, well that's what I think don't know for sure! So I am waiting now for God to bless us soon, hopefully in a few months we will get our BFP!!!

I'm relaxing more this month, with my diabetes I'm not worrying about the odd high number, Its like a mini break from D not to be soooooo strict with it!!! Its a good feeling, but next week after Christmas is over I'll be back checking it like a lunatic!!!!!!!! I have some Bud, which I will enjoy over the next week, I really do feel more relaxed which is great!!!

I really can't wait for 2011 to start, I so hope it will be a better year than this, the only good thing that happen for me and Mr. was getting the green light!!! The worst thing happen on the 2nd of Jan, still hard to believe! miss you x. I hope that we will get pregnant in a few months and have a wee baby in 2011, I hope this time next year we will be a family and can really enjoy Christmas!

The reason for the season, I love him and I thank him every day for all he has given me!!! I know he is with me all the time looking after us and protecting us!!! Thank you God and Mary and Jesus for all your help, I hope you will answer my prayer soon! By your will, let it be.

We don't have any decorations up this year, no Christmas cards sent, but still in my heart the feeling of Christmas, it is a sad Christmas for me and my family, it will be hard, there will be tears, but there will be smiles and laughter too. But in all our hearts we will be missing you but in some way I know you will be with us, like it was.

May you all have a Happy Christmas and may God bless you all, may all your hopes and dreams come true in the New Year, 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bring it on! x ;-)

The Power of Prayer

"Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours. This time I ask for one special one (mention here). Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your own broken Heart where your father sees it. Then, in His merciful eyes it will become your favour not mine. Amen"

Some people don't believe in pray, but I do and I know in my heart that it works. God helps me alot and in these months that we will be trying for a baby I know I will need his help more and more!!

"In God We Trust"

I have been praying these few days more and he answered my pray today. I just wanted to honour him and say that, God is Good, I trust in him.

Thank you God, My Lord and My God.

Rihanna - Only Girl (In The World)

;))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrRtYzb-vwE


Makes me smile! "Life is for Sharing"!

TMI **Alert**

As you know it is the 1st time for me and Mr. to try for a baby EVER, so I found it weird to have period like pain after having; after doing the deed, anyway on CDay 9 was the day this pain started and it has more or less lasted this long. I have had this pain before, when I have my period but I know it can't be that, I also had it around the time I could be Oing or I had it one other time and it was a cyst!

So maybe it is a cyst. As the ticker says I don't O for another few days, unless I am Oing a few times a month, I really don't know what is going on, and last night I have period pain in my lower back!! But then I think that its just wind and there is nothing wrong with you!!!(Me)

But before this day with the pain, I was fine, then we DTD and half an hour later got this pain in my right side near my right ovary and still have it off and on. Unless it is a cyst and for some reason it just happened to burst at that time and it will heal up and I'll be grand!

What do you think??  Maybe I'm just mad in the head, as its not time for O yet and I need to carry on with what I'm at and see what happens in a few weeks, but as I write this I have this period ache down there so what am I going to do, I think it's wind but then I think it can't be. Period like achey pain now I'm not bad enough for a doctor but I'm just wondering what is going on inside me! I really have no idea what goes on inside me you know?!

Anyway I shall tell you again if I ever find out what it is. If any one out there has had something like this before could you leave me a comment , please! Something and nothing!

Lucky ones

Time is flying by, but now that we are TTC the days are going so slowly! We are DTD, messing about its a good feeling to be able to relax and just do it! We don't know to much about this whole stage of the game, but I'm sure I will learn more as we go along!!! I don't know if I'm like these women that look at a penis and gets pregnant! Or I will have to work harder like a lot of women, and you would wonder why some just get pregnant no bother and unfortunately their are women that have to work really hard to get their baby!

I don't know what I am talking about, as you know I hope that we can get pregnant really fast and have a healthy baby, I know lots of women that just get pregnant, and I know a few that are having trouble. Its a funny world, I believe in God and I know he has a plan for me and Mr. but I don't know if it's the same one as what I have! It's a hard life and me and Mr. have been tested a few times now, when you fall can you get back up and try again?!

Going by this ticker at the top of my page, I am heading into the fertile time of my month, fun times ahead!!! Scary as well, I'm feeling scared of the unknown.....What has God planned for us this time will it be what we are hoping??? Or will we have to work alot harder to get what we want!!! Only time will tell I guess.....

I was in my early 20's and I went to a fortune teller, he was meant to be very good, anyway some of the thing's he said did happen. I remember asking (I think I asked him?) If I would be able to have  a baby, and he told me that I was very fertile and I always needed to use protection as if I didn't I would get pregnant! Well we will see as in a few weeks I'll be able to see if AF shows up!!! I would love for this to be true, but I'm not a fool to fully go by what this man said, maybe he is right please god he is, but I'm not just going to sit back and say " oh yea we will get pregnant 1st time no bother!!!"

I do go on TTC forums and read what some women have to do each month, and I don't wish that on anyone, but some of us will have to do the hard work and then some of us will be so very lucky. I don't know where I fall yet.................................................

If I am one of the lucky ones, I will know how blessed I am and I will be so grateful and thankful.

As you know I'm a type 1 diabetic and us type 1's know hard work............................

But it would be great if we didn't have to work for this, like the lucky ones!

"Always, Have a happy period"

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you fucking kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

New hopes and dreams!

So my hopes and dreams might come true............................................. I got the go ahead to try for our baby!!! My hopes and dreams was to get my a1c's in good range and that we would get the green light, which we did thank god!

How did I do it?

• Went to see my local diabetic nurse and she sent me to Dublin for a pre-pregnancy clinic app, and I got blood taken to check my a1c and my thyroid.
• I had to write down my blood sugar in the lovely logbooks! everyday! ring the nurse once a week to tell her what the story was with me bloods. Been doing that since June.
• Keep a good eye on what you are eating and do some exercise to keep the blood sugar down!
• Wake up at night and check my blood sugar at 3am.
• I prayed alot and cried abit and hoped a load, and thank god I got the go ahead!

I worked hard with the help of my hubby and the diabetic nurse!!!  So I know if I can do it so can you!!!! My new hopes and dreams is to get pregnant soon and have a healthy baby!!!! please god x

New hopes and dreams!!!!!

Green Light!

Green for GO!

Most women don't need a doctor or a nurse to tell them that yes you can go and try for a baby, you got the green light!

Well I needed to get the green light as I have type 1 diabetes and an underactive thyroid, so I needed to be sure that my health was in good shape, that it would be safe for me to try and get pregnant!
Some type one Diabetic's don't wait for this green light, they go on a get pregnant sometimes with high A1C's and have gorgeous healthy babies, which is fine it's up to the person if they want to wait or not! Sometime's the waiting was getting me down but me and Mr. decided it was best to wait.
In Nov '08 we decided to start planning for a baby and get my health in a good place and we did but life got in the way, but 2 years later we got the Green light!!!! Thank god it has been a very long wait but I'm so over the moon!! I realize now that I need to keep working hard with my Diabetes, keep going! Wooohoooo!

My A1C is 6.1%! Delighted, It is very hard work and I don't have a pump never have, I am a MDI kinda girl, which works for me and I'm so happy that I'm so near to 6.0%, I was looking up what my avg blood sugar is with a A1C of 6.1%, well it says 7.8 is my avg BS!! Very good!  www.healthy-ojas.com
So I'm over the moon, Thank god!

Risks

2% risk for me to get my wisdom tooth out, as the nerve is very close to the root. Root canal costs 700 euro we don't have that kind of money!!! I'm going to the Dentist this even to hopefully get it pulled out! Mr. is worried that I will lose the feeling in my lip, I hope I don't but I'll take the risk.....

I was with the dentist a few weeks ago and got the x ray done and all that!So I know that this might not turn out so great, but what did they do years ago??? Bit of string, tie it to a door and hope for the best!!

The cold weather has put it mad wasn't to bad before this, but now I want it gone, pull it out!!! Saturday night, I was crying with the pain and I don't want another evening like that, thank you. I hope I don't lose feeling but I know that they have to cover themselves because they don't want me coming back suing them. If I do lose the feeling in my lip well I'll have to deal with it, it could be worse I think, it wouldn't stop me from being a Mammy someday, would it?? I can't see why it would!!! I'm not a vain person that all I care about is my looks, no that wont bother me!! As long as I can still use my mouth then I'll be alright!!! I'll be soon going, wish me luck, hope it goes alright and I'll still feel everything!


I will update this when I get back home. Mr. will soon be here.................

Emotions

My Hopes

They never say how hard it is to deal with Diabetes, they never say how hard it is to wait for your a1c results, why does the a1c take so long, if they were waiting for the results they would hurry them up abit! But us poor ejits left waiting, thinking it's sky high, hoping it is the six's. You nearly pull all your hair out by the time you find out if your good or bad!!!


I'm waiting a week, these results mean the world to me, but what if they are "bad" what if my thyroid is out of range?? How will I manage then, more waiting. That will bring us in to next year, but I wanted to get the ok this year! I've been waiting long enough, haven't I? I'm so scared it's crazy, what will I do I worked so hard, I'm afraid to ring the nurse as I don't want to hear bad news! No one understands only you: this feeling would drive ya to drink!

Oh God tomorrow, how will I be able to ring , what if it's bad??? I can't handle bad news, Can it be our turn please?! I will have to control my crazy emotions and hope for the best.

Still so scared.............please be good? Finger's crossed.........

Log books...

Never really like using them, until June of this year. I'm not gone on them now either but I'll do what it takes!
Since I got Diabetes I hated having to write everything down, hated it so never done it! I have read a few blogs and it seems I'm not alone in this, some of us didn't like doing it at all like me.

I use to think that I was the only "bad" diabetic that never wrote anything down, didn't record anything but on these blogs I found people like me! Which gives me peace of mind that I'm not alone!!

I have been logging my blood sugar's since June!! Sometimes I do say "I should get a medal" but I know what reward I want! If God grants me it! So I'll keep logging my number's, maybe someday I'll like doing it but I can't really see that happening.....

Wait!

Waiting is hateful, I've had the longest week in my life, waiting and waiting................... will the day ever come??? Why is it ssssooooooooooooooooooo long, Its driving me mad, really is!!! I have hoped and prayed that we get great news on this day but I'm afraid to hope to dream!! What if it's not our turn, how will I handle that. I can't keep getting so close but yet so far! I'm trying to try for a baby, I'm trying to get everything right, will the moon and the stars line up for me?

Will this green light shine on us, I'm waiting to get my blood results back, I'm waiting to start a new story.

I'm waiting............

Hopes and Dreams!

A1c

My blood results came back my a1c is 7.3 up from the last time, crap, thats not a good start!! Thyroid is fine which is good news, I just have to stop messing about and get my a1c down. So in July I did work hard and was a saint and my next A1c is: 6.4!! Great start everybody is very pleased with my hard work!

Aug app in Dublin same thing, look over my log books and make small changes if needed!
Aug a1c is: 6.6!!! woohoo! getting close to my 3 ducks!!!
Sept a1c is wait for it,,,,,,,,, it's..........6.5 YES wohooo finally!!! do we get the green light??? can we start??? Can we try for our baby??? NO!

My F*ing Thyroid went haywire for no reason!!! Why, that's not fair, all the work I done, that's not right!
Why?

New start?

June '10, 1st app in Dublin to help me get good control of my Diabetes and  see what my a1c is.

Met with a lovely kind nurse and she talked away to me about where I need to get my A1c to, asked about my thyroid,
I'm taking 100mg at the moment, good good!
What was you're last a1c? 7.1
We will take some blood today and see what it is when it comes back, ok?
Ok!? (hope it is better than the last time!)
She told me before we (Me & Mr.) can start trying for a wee baby, that I need to get 3 good A1c's in a row before we get the green light!
3 3 3 yes 3 ducks in a row!!!!
Aswell as having my underactive thyroid in good range, can it be done? I'll try my best!
We talked about other thing's but thats what we have to do! fun times!

Jealous??!!!

In Jan '10, I said goodbye to my Dad, a week later our good friends told us they were expecting their 1st baby in July, My gut twisted , "Why them why not us", " why do we have such a hard time???" I was very peeed off! (I was missing my Dad and I was lost!!!)  But over the moon for them, so excited for the 2 of them!! really was just peeed of with our situation! So I slowly started to get my blood sugar in range and tried so hard!
April '10 my A1c is 7.1 not too bad after the time I've had! My thyroid is good too, thank god! A month sooner we were told that my Brother and wife are expecting their 2nd baby in sept. That was another knife in the gut, but I kept working at my Blood sugar's  and hoping that our day will come! Hopefully?

9.1

World Diabetes Day! Nearly over for me, but I hope for me, that on Tuesday I get good results. I wonder what will happen from this day till this day next year! 9.1 is my blood sugar now, could be better but I'll do better tomorrow! Tomorrow is a new day! x

My world changed forever...

It was a really bad winter, the worse in 20 year's some said! For me it was the worse ever...

2009 wasn't great at all but I was looking forward to christmas, couldn't wait, I really love Christmas!! So Christmas came and me and Mr. got up and went in to the sitting room, where we had our gorgeous Christmas tree. I looked out the frosted window to see the snow starting to fall and me and Mr started to open our presents!!!! Then I went to let our dogs out (They didn't want to go out, looked at me as if I was mad!!!)

We went to my Mam and Dad's house for Christmas dinner, which was lovely!!! had a great day. I
didn't think that, That was the last day I would ever see you, a week later you would be gone! I remember when we were going home, you were laughing and joking and smiling, I remember you smiling. Its a good memory to have but I wish you where still here!

It was a Saturday afternoon very frosty, roads were very dangerous, water pipes were starting to freeze! Me and Mr. where in the Kitchen, I was washing up and the phone rings. It was my Brother, Why is he ringing? Hello? Everything changed after that hello! Dad has taken a turn! What(!) NO no no no, Mr. takes the phone, I go down to the bed room to change my clothes all the time thinking; He be alright, lots of people have turns and are fine with abit of help from the Drs. and nurse's!!!! It will be alright! okay?!

Me and Mr. left and head for the hospital, we had to drive slowly as of the roads, all the time thinking dad's alright he has to be!!!! He can't die, he can't he's my dad, mine, he can't!!!
The phone rang it was my sis in law, she wanted to talk to Mr. I handed him the phone, he pulled over and my world fell apart............

Dad was gone to Heaven, never got to say goodbye, love you Dad, miss you. I never cryed as hard in all my life! Heartbreaking....
We drove on to the Hospital and went in to see my Dad, my Family where there, more and more came as the Day went on.
What happened??
Dad was out putting salt on the lane, came in to the house sat down and passed away! He died of a massive heart attack. No signs of it, he was fit and healthy no major problems at all. I'm still in shock from it, still think he's over home but I have to wait until I see him again!

It was the worst winter of my life.
R.I.P Dad X

A bit about me,

I got the big D in Aug 2003, I was 21 nice birthday pressie! lol. I had met my Hubby in April of that year and he was great when my health went haywire ( well it was haywire before that but when the Dr. told me that I had type 1 D) my man was great, he was there for me, he is great!!!! Love him. x
So I have D, I also have underactive thyroid which I found out in Nov 2008, which is the same month that we decided to start thinking of starting a family. I started taking Eltroxin tablets for the thyroid and waited for that to work ( I was waiting along time), so anyway what was my A1c: in march 2008 it was 6.5 woohoo and in nov '08 it was 6.2!!!! In Jan '09 it was 5.4, 5.4!!! Never seen that number again! Still waiting for the thyroid to get better. In Feb '09 I started to get alot of pain on my right side, it felt like period pain so I didn't pass much remarks on it, but then the pain was getting worse so I headed to the Dr. and she sent me to A&E, so after how many hours, they admitted me and I was there for nearly 2 weeks, they couldn't find out what was wrong with me!
Well it turned out to be my appendix, so got the operation done, couple of days later got home, back home to my dogs and my man!
A month later I found a lump just at my scar, some time went by and I went to Dr. and long story short I had a hernia!! So in Nov 2009 I go in to get that repaired! My A1c in the summertime was: 8.1 and in Nov '09 it was 6.7!! Back on track! But not for long..............

Hello..

Hi, you can call me Pearl, I live in ireland always have I love living here! I am starting this blog as I want to help someone that might want to find stuff out about Type one diabetes and trying to get the green light, to try for a baby.
I hope that I'll be able to help in some way, If it all works out for me it will work out for you! x